Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Eyeopener - Work Is Dicking Us Over, San Jose Gets Its Consolation Prize

Work is being a whore with a sloppy vag today so the Eyeopener is going to be not as extensive as usual and the Wednesday Embarrassing Story will be up around 3 today.  The good news?  It's a story of the highest quality?  The bad news?  We may not have as much up today but dammit, we'll try.  On with the show!

-Fucking LeBron.  El Heat took control of the series last night with a 101-93 win in overtime.  Chicago, much like OKC the night before, had a chance to win the game on the final possession.  And, also very much like OKC, got a look one could only describe as "shitactular".  You have to love when a team of multi-millionaires can't execute a basic last shot play.

-Sharks, come get your parting gift!  The Vancouver Canucks moved onto the Stanley Cup Finals for the first time since 1994 with a double overtime 3-2 win.  Vancouver tied the game with 13.2 seconds left with an extra attacker then won it two periods later when defenseman Kevin Bieksa got what described as, "probably the ugliest goal of my career, but the biggest," to light the lamp.  San Jose is turning into the Cubs of hockey: perpetual disappointment.

-Is everyone on the juice again?  Carlos Quentin launched three homers, the fifth player to do so this year, as the ChiSox beat the Rangers and large hail, 8-6.  (The "large hail" link has video of the hail.)

-Coors Field turned into a legitimate house of pain yesterday.  First, Rockies almost-ace Jorge De La Rosa suffered a complete tear of his ulnar collateral ligament in the first game of a doubleheader which the Rox and DBacks split.  The injury will require a Tommy John-style surgery which will sideline DLR for a year.  Even more tragically, in the seventh inning of the same game, a 27 year old fan fell 20 feet off a stairwell leading to the centerfield seats.  The fan is currently in critical condition.  Both need to get well soon.

-Mike Brown was offered the keys to the Lakermobile in the wake of Phil Jackson's departure.  The question is, without LeBron James to co-pilot it, will he crash it into the tar pits?

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