Embrassing Story Wednesday

It's a day late but whatever.  This story is an old one, a time where I had no facial hair and still hadn't touched my first boob yet.  It was July 2000, I was 12, and I was in Australia as part of a three week exchange program.  This incident took place on our second full day Down Under (sorry, I had to work it in):

Our group consisted of 40 students, four chaperones/teachers, our tour guide Melissa, and our bus driver Graham.  We started on the northeast coast in Cairns, home to rainforests and the Great Barrier Reef.  While showering for dinner on our second night I swore I heard someone knock on my door.  I threw on a towel and and I opened the door only to find no one.  Thinking maybe someone need something, clothes, toothpaste, etc. I stepped completely out of my room and into the hall.  Now, it wasn't really a hall, more of a passage way.  Being in the tropics the rooms all opened onto an open air passage, sort of like how malls in nice weather cities are built.  (Here's a link to the resort since I'm doing a shitty job describing it.)  Anyway, I turn to go back into my room the door won't budge.  It had locked behind me.  I was stuck in only a towel, dripping wet and visible to pretty much anyone who walked by and looked up.  I immediately become frantic (this experience would help me to prepare for college, a time in your life when being without most of your clothes in public is called Friday).  By chance a girl who was staying across the hall-thing from us comes out to head to dinner only to find a mostly naked, soaking me standing there.  She clearly does not know what to make of this.  I asked to go get our head chaperone, a fierce little lady, which she does in a hurry.  In what probably three minutes but felt like three hours our chaperone shows up to let me in, reading me the riot act on how I'm embarrassing myself, our group, and by proxy our country.  Remember, this was pre-GWBush so I really was embarrassing the US.  She let me in and I dressed in a matter of seconds.  As we walk in to eat I was met with a round of applause from my groupmates and chaperones.

Rangers Draft Paralyzed Player (Did It Just Get Dusty In Here?)

The Texas Rangers, reigning AL Champions made us choke up yesterday and not because they were teaching us how to hold a bat or eliminate our team from the playoffs.  No, instead they made us get emotional after drafting Jonathon Taylor in the 33rd round of yesterday's amateur baseball draft.  This wouldn't be anything special, Taylor is a .320 hitter with a set of wheels, someone who can cash checks of varying amounts by playing baseball, if Taylor wasn't paralyzed.  Taylor, or JT as his friends have creatively nicknamed him, was paralyzed on March 6 of this year after an outfield collision with teammate Zach Cone, the 37th pick in this year's draft, also by the Rangers.  Taylor is currently paralyzed from the waist down but is showing signs of improvement and I'm sure his spirits received a huge boost once he received word of his being drafted. 

Player Wives

Come on down, Gena Lee Nolin!

When we do the Player Wives posts, one of us emails me to get it all pretty and posted.  Usually the subject on the email is something pretty straight forward, the player's name, the wife's name, etc.  No, not today, not for this one.  This is subject on today's email, spelling and grammar just as it came to me in my GMail: "Who the fuck is cale hulse".  Apparently Cale Hulse made his living playing hockey for 15 years.  Also, he is nailing this piece of ass:

Sweet Jebus!  Sports are amazing.  Cale Hulse was a defenseman who I remember only because of NHL 2002 on the PC.  He carved a career as a third pairing guy and he gets to sleep with her nightly.  Only in the world of professional sports can someone mediocre get a Gena Lee Nolin.  Let me know when your best college professor rolls in with a piece of arm candy like that, I know none of mine did.

Quote Of The Day

Usually for the quote of the day we turn to words that ring through the annals (ha) of history.  Not so for today's offering.  Last night Charlie Manuel, the manager of the Phillies who perpetually looks like he is about to fall asleep on the bench, professed his love for Cole Hamels.  Whether that love was for the pitcher or the man is still unclear.  (Note: We got the quote from the Twitter of Philadelphia Inquirer staff writer Matt Gelb.  Matt is an absolute must follow if you care about Philadelphia baseball or just good sports writing in general.  Find him on Twitter: @magelb)

A Little Midweek Stimulation

Rise and grind, motherfuckers.

So it's a day late but when you're pulling your ass through the doldrums of the work week does it even matter?  Aren't the days just one shit smear from Monday to Friday?  I can see you nodding in agreement.  So lets do this, a little something to get you motivated enough to ask the cute girl down the hall out for drinks.  Or at least sneak an extra few seconds of creepy leering as she walks by.  Lessssgoooo.

Eyeopener - Nearly Killing Nathan Horton Seems Like A Bad Idea In Retrospect

Fuck word limits in titles.  Our blog, our unwieldy titles.

-Since Nathan Horton was nearly killed by Aaron Rome, the Bruins have outscored the Canucks 12-1 and tied the Stanley Cup Finals at two games apiece.  Seemingly besides cleaning Horton's clock, Rome seems to have cleaned the cobwebs up and kick started their offense into something fierce.  The B's took down Vancouver 4-0 in game four last night officially transforming from a potential whitewashing into a best of three shootout.   Already people north of the bordering are questioning if Bob Luongo (when you get shelled like he has been, you lose full name privileges) should start game five while the name Timothy, or variations thereof, will likely be the number one time in the greater Boston area this year.

-Speaking of Canada, Terrelle Pryor should make sure his passport is valid.  The Saskatchewan Roughriders acquired the rights yesterday to negotiate with the former Buckeye signal caller.  Pryor, who you should know by now left tOSU after a shitstorm of epic proportion that culminated in the accusation he made 20-40k selling his Herbie Hancock, is now a free agent of sorts and already people are speculating what's next.  Some are speculating Pryor could spend a season in the UFL, others are pondering already how TP could excel on their NFL squad of interest, and yet others are saying he won't be a solid fit on the 'Riders.

-So much for that infamous slow start.  The Red Sox are back on top of the AL East after their second straight whooping of the Empire.  I know New York had a solid west coast swing but I just have this feeling (that very well may be all bias) that these two teams are trending in very different directions.

-Buccos!  The Pirates are playing .500 ball!  At 30-30 this is the latest the Pirates have been at or above the break even mark since 2005.  The win came in the 12th inning on a Andrew McCutchen walk-off blast that sent the Pirates into a frenzy and DBacks to the showers.

-The Rockies won a series.  To say I'm elated would be an understatement.

-Cole Hamels was dominant, and he needed to be.  It's never good when the article starts with, "As he began the first home run trot for a Phillies hitter in eight days..."  What is good is when you beat the LA Dodgers 2-0 like the Phillies did last night.

-I am starting to really like DeShawn Stevenson and the way he (accurately) keeps talking shit about LeBron in the media.