I Think I Like Fred Wilpon

The New York media, always known for their level-headed and fair reporting, will have a field day with only a handful of the quotes in Jeffrey Toobin's feature on Fred Wilpon.  Specifically, the quotes where Wilpon criticizes some of his players.

On Jose Reyes:
“He thinks he’s going to get Carl Crawford money. He’s had everything wrong with him. He won’t get it.”

On David Wright:
“A really good kid. A very good player. Not a superstar.”

On Carlos Beltran, and himself:
"We had some dummy in New York, Wilpon says, referring to himself, 'who paid him based on that one series. He’s 65 to 70 percent of what he was.'"

But what is most powerful about the piece is that Wilpon comes off as extremely likable, a guy who cares a lot about his team and its success.  Someone who is pained with the teams struggles, and his own.  The piece is magnificent and well-worth the time to read it.

Todd Frazier Makes The Show

Todd Frazier, former Little League hero, Rutgers superstar, and someone who holds many connections to this blog's writers, got the call today.  The Cincinnati Reds Blog broke the story, citing CAA's Twitter feed, the sports agency that represents Frazier.  We wish him the best tonight as he makes his MLB debut against the Philadelphia Phillies tonight.  He is clearly the most important roster addition to either squad tonight.

Down Goes Poulter! Down Goes Poulter!

Ian Poulter made some money yesterday by winning the World Match Play Championship in Caseras, Spain yesterday 2-1 over Luke Donald.  His check for 1.14 million dollars is large and probably not cash-able at your friendly, local payday advance store.  On his way to claiming a comically huge check with lots of zeroes and commas, Poulter took a tumble while making a shot off a hill.  Thankfully someone got video of it so we all may watch and laugh at his misfortune, then get pissed because he did just win 1.14 million.  That is approximately 1.1399 million more than I have in my checking account.

Player Wives

Come on down, Karen Burnett!

AJ, New York Yankee batting practice pitcher and general piece of white trash, may not be able to throw a strike (thankfully) but he sure got this one right. There was even a rumor going around that Karen was a former stripper which if true, makes me even more of an AJ fan than I am now, though that isn't saying all that much.

We're Gussying Ourselves Up

We're putting on our finery for you guys.  At some point our banner will go from boring old text to a pretty graphic thanks a talented friend.  We hope you think we look nice.

Danica Patrick Had A Bad Day Yesterday

Danica Patrick, model-turned-race-car-driver (we got that right, right?), had a bad day in Indianapolis yesterday.  Patrick nearly caused a lot of problems for the officials of the Izod Indy Car Series by not qualifying for Sunday's Indianapolis 500.  We'll sum it up in a neat and orderly fashion, but follow the link for the full run down.

-She was slow on Saturday during practice.
-Sunday morning she was second fastest in morning practice assuring her the second spot in the qualifying order.
-She failed post-practice inspection meaning she would go to the back of the line to qualify.
-Rain nearly washed out the end of qualifying which would have left Danica out of the 500.
-Danica eventually did qualify, which you can watch below, ending up with the 26th starting spot.

Quote Of The Day

For today's quote, we turn towards fat man and general blowhard Tommy Lasorda. Here is a man who loves nothing more to hear his own voice and to score a Vegas buffet special all at the same time. The quote?

"The only way I'd worry about the weather is if it snows on our side of the field and not on theirs."

Here's Joakim Noah Being Mean

Joakim Noah scored a single point last night.  He also committed a couple of quick fouls.  After picking up his second foul midway through the first period, Noah went back to bench, greeted by hecklers.  He then said a Kobe-esque bad word.  Here's the video.

Eyeopener - Sorry We Have A Drinking Problem

Sorry about the lack of postings, we spent the weekend working but mainly bringing ourselves that much closer to pulling a Mickey Mantle and getting a blowjob in Yankee Stadium needing a liver transplant.  We'll make up for it today.  Anyway, let’s do this.

-Joakim Noah thinks you’re a (insert sexual slur here).  He also can’t guard Chris Bosh as the third wheel in Miami love duo made Noah look like the famous Yi workout chair.  Bosh went off scoring 34 points in Miami's 96-85 win in Miami. For shits and giggles, here is Will Smith.

-Vancouver scored three straight 5 on 3 goals last night to beat San Jose, taking a 3-1 series lead in the process.  San Jose is once again edging closer to another season of being the bridesmaid in the Western Conference but more importantly, that much closer to receiving the That Guy! consolation prize on their way out.

-Scumbag Giovanni Ramirez was caught yesterday in a police raid on his Los Angeles apartment.  Ramirez is the primary suspect in the beating of Giants fan Bryan Stow who remains in the hospital.  Rumors are swirling that Ramirez is a member of the one of the street gangs that claim his Los Angeles neighborhood of Rampart as part of their territory.  Two other suspects remain at large.

-More people keep piling on Lance Armstrong and Lance is getting pissed.

-The Phils are about to get a sudden surge of offense in their lineup as Chase Utley returns today to make his season debut.  The Phillies have been atrocious offensively, including dropping a 2-0 decision to Texas after  mustering just five hits.  However thanks to their plethora of arms, they remain atop the NL East.

-David Price sat on my fantasy bench yesterday after I forgot to set my line up.  He then dealt a three hit, complete game gem replete with 13 Ks as Tampa Bay beat Florida 4-0.  I will now slam my dick in a door.

-Hey, you know who else sat on my bench?  Alexei Ramirez, who went 4-5 with a homer, five RBIs, and scored two runs as the Sox of Chicago beat the Dodgers 8-3.  I will now slam both nuts in a door.

-The luckiest man on earth right now is Ivan Nova who put a lot of traffic on and only gave up three runs.  Then the 7th inning rolled up and the Yankees went ham on the Mets, throwing up a snowman to take 2 of 3 from their cross-river rivals in a 9-3 win.

-This is the face of "multiple facial fractures".

Cubs center fielder Marlon Byrd is on the 15 day DL after taking a heater to the cheek in Saturday night's win over the BoSox.  The Red Sox would turn around and take last night's contest 5-1 on the strength of Adrian Gonzalez's bat and Tim Wakefields knuckler.  Adrian did not sit on my fantasy bench last night.