Friday, June 3, 2011

We Caught People Having Sex In A Car


My girlfriend and I after a little dinner went to go park and chat for a bit last night.  We drove to a darker part of the parking lot, aiming to park next to two apparently empty cars.  As soon as I began to wheel the car into the parking space two very scared and very naked guys popped up from the backseat of one of the cars, desperately trying to dress themselves thinking/assuming we were the cops.  I drove away as fast as I could, we didn't want to ruin their night more than we already had.

Baseball: America's Next Economic Bubble?


The idea of bubbles bursting and letting a lot of people fall on their economic asses is an idea we've seen first hand: the dotcom bubble, the housing bubble, the dubble bubble.  But what about baseball?  Today a report on the financial health of MLB's 30 squads revealed that nine are outside of the rules set forth on debt-to-income.  Currently the rule states a club cannot have a debt 10 times greater than it's annual revenue yet some recognizable clubs find themselves out of compliance.  Aside from the Dodgers and Mets who are well-document debtors, the Phillies, Cubs, Rangers, Orioles, Tigers, Nationals, and Marlins all find themselves on the list of too much debt.  Major League Baseball claims they are not worried and that most of these clubs will be back within the parameters shortly but what remains is a bigger question.  Despite MLB doubling it's revenue to seven billion dollars in eight years, when clubs begin to outspend their means shades of the housing bubble come into play.  Now, I'm not saying teams will collapse and players will be holding out their hats on street corners.  What I am saying though is teams need to show fiscal restraint to ensure the long-term financial health of their club and the league as a whole.

The fine folks over at Phillies Nation did a great job using the available information on how and where exactly the Phillies went awry financially.  It's a solid and concise read that explains not only Philly's situation but most other club's as well, aside from the Mets and Dodgers.

Something New - Song For The Weekend

Since we like you guys, and sort of feel bad for a lack of posting today, we're rolling out a new feature on the site.  Every Friday we'll put up a song we've been digging on.  It can be old, new, shitty, not so shitty, whatever, just a little something to groove on throughout the weekend.  Given the tastes in music amongst the authors of That Guy! the songs are all but guaranteed to be eclectic at best.  So, lets do this thing.  This weekend's offering:

Brian Sabean Is Clearly A Bitter And Deranged Asshole

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Player Wives



Come on down, Hilary Duff!

Mike Comrie, congratulations. Not only have you had a respectable NHL career, you've managed to nail down one of the hottest pieces of ass in Hollywood. Not only that, SHE'S SEVEN YEARS YOUNGER THAN YOU! I don't care all the bad things they say about Canadians, you prove them wrong. Enjoy tagging that over and over while you both roll around in your millions.

How Herbstreit Got it Wrong


Kirk Herbstreit, the pretty boy of ESPN's college football coverage, the face of every fan's Saturday morning programming, and the analyst for some of the sport's biggest television events, botched this off season's biggest story. In response to Jim Tressel's resignation, the former Buckeye quarterback said, "I just think he got caught up in being so loyal to try and take care of his own players the way you would your son, the way I would my son, that I think trying to take care of them ended up backfiring on him." His spineless interpretation of the events is not only a dangerously misleading portrayal of Tressel's actions, it is also blatantly false.

Jim Tressel: The Facts

In the Spring of 2010, Jim Tressel was informed that his players were receiving improper benefits in exchange for team merchandise and autographs. When the players' scam came to light, Tressel lied and denied any knowledge of their "isolated" actions. 'The Vest,' whose persona Sports Illustrated has described as "Senatorial," immediately played the role of embattled patriarch--under fire, he claimed, for trying to protect his players. Apologies were missing and the coach's general attitude during press conferences was cagey, at best. Anyone capable of reading between the lines can see that Tressel only sought to protect his own reputation, not his players' integrity.

If Tressel had reported the violations, the perpetrators would have faced suspensions--likely the same sentences they are to serve in 2011--and would have been taught lessons in discipline and life; the sort of values a 'father' is supposed to teach. Instead, Tressel inculcated himself in the scandal. There is no adequate defense for this behavior. Apologists point to the absurdity of the NCAA's rules, but how are we taught to challenge unfairness and authority? Are responsible members of any society supposed to duck the rules and hide from repercussions? Accountability was not only missing at every level in Ohio State's program, it was institutionally discouraged by example.

Effects

For every Ryan Leaf and Braylon Edwards, there is a college football program unwilling to stand up to its players. The problem is systemic and goes beyond football. Coaches across college athletics openly violate NCAA regulations and endear themselves to players by triangulating with Clintonian-precision. They depict themselves as martyrs torn between oppressive NCAA rules and an immense love for their players; like Kelvin Sampson, for example, who, during the heat of investigations, saw himself as 'in the trenches' with his team What lesson are these coaches teaching their players? Only that the world is full of betrayal and false promises. What did Bruce Pearl's players inherit from their coach? A strong sense of disillusionment when the house of cards finally collapsed--similar to what Ohio State players must be feeling this week.

Herbstreit and others perpetuate and encourage the 'father figure' myth at the expense of hundreds of athletes. Jim Tressel sold out his 'children' by withholding information to save face. Jim Tressel "got caught up being loyal" to 'the vest,' not to his players. Herbstreit should understand that "taking care" of the players would have entailed being there for them when they shouldered responsibility for their actions. Tressel and dozens of other coaches deserve their fates because they are the 'deadbeat dads' of coaching--the coaches who mislead players and confuse love of team with love of self.

It's about accountability, Mr. Herbstreit. It appears you are not ready to be a father. Now fuck off.


Put it on the board, Hawk.