Thursday, June 16, 2011

A New Contributor, A New Propositon


We like to open up our blog to the handful of friends we have that can write and did things other than sleep through college.  While it may render the heading inaccurate we honestly don't give a shit.  We hope you enjoy our new section, That Guy! @ College.

This is my introductory post sharing some of the stories that I had while attending a highly respected university. I use the term “highly respected” in the loosest sense.  My alma mater is not known for their academics or prestigious, world class programs rather mainly for partying and sometimes athletics.  Somehow ended up graduating in 4 years, but it was a long journey of many drunken nights that provided many good laugh.  I hope you enjoy these as much I did living them.

Infamous “Late Nights”

Working at a nightclub in this particular college town was extremely fun.  I met tons of people and made money while watching young students get belligerently intoxicated.  However, when was our time to party? Since people like to go out on weekends (who knew?) I was always working on the weekends leaving the employees no time to go out and party hard.  That changed my sophomore year when we as employees decided to start and take part in “Late Nights”.

"Late Nights" consisted of getting out of the work around 3-3:30 AM, purchasing cases off beer and bottles of liquor from the nightclub, and heading to one of the employee's places to rage until hours of the morning usually reserved for hookers and murderers.  Watching the sun come up with bottles of Jameson in our hands was not unusual.

One of my first ever Late Nights was a memorable one.  We had just gotten off of work and were trying to get everyone to party.  It fell short though as just myself, another male employee, and two chicks decided drinking at 3 AM was sound decision making. Our group headed back to one of our apartments where we began taking shots and bonging beers like it was nobody's business. By 5 AM we were shitfaced. As the sun is starting to come up, me and the one chick were flirting heavily.  We had always had a flirtatious relationship but the alcohol helped push this one to the next level.

After some more heavy flirting we proceeded to go up to her room and start to fool around.  One thing led to the another; the next thing I know we were banging.  She was sort of a kinky girl: talking dirty, doing some things I’ve never done before, and generally being a great time... until she threw the ultimate curveball at me. I was giving it to her from behind (just as she liked it) and in mid-thrust she turns back to me and says “Oh, my God!  All I want you to do is BUST in my FACE!”  Wait!  WHAT!?  Holy crap!  Did she just say what I thought she said?  Is this really happening right now? I thought they only said that stuff in porn! I was at a loss, stuck between shock, excitement, and confusion.  I had to have a plan of attack but how to you even plan for something like that our of nowhere?  While continuing my business I went back and forth in my head on how I was going to finish the climax (ha) of this experience.  I ultimately decided not to fulfill her mouth/face wishes because of a sense of… I guess… I don’t know; I just didn’t know if it was the right thing to do.  The end was nearing and I ultimately decided to discard future lawyers, doctors, and astronauts (I assume) all over her back.  The landing of the load was met with a truly disappointed, “Oh, man.”  I guess she was pretty serious about what she wanted.

By the time it was all over it was 7 AM and I decided to do the right thing by going home and sleeping off my shamefulness.  The lesson as always?  Give a girl exactly what she wants.

Until next time...
That Guy! @ College

While Playing Tecmo...


this happened.  The glorious part of it?  He recovered a fumbled free kick following a Derrick Thomas safety of Bills QB (Jim Kelly).