Liquor Store Regular

You have recently switched from a "six of that tea that I drink" (Mike's Hard Tea, the manliest of malt beverages) and moved to a two six packs of Coors Light nips a night. I still can't tell if this a positive or not. What I can tell you is that your pierced chin/lip area is disgusting, as is the shitty soulpatch you have growing around it. Did I mention I dislike you and shake up your beer every chance I get?

Player Wives

Come on down, Anna Benson!

I remember when Anna made headlines when she said that she would sleep with everyone on the Mets if Kris cheated on her. I'm still not sure how that happened or if it did, if it would qualify as the great moment in Mets' history. If I were on that team I would've been lining Kris's locker with fake pictures and phone numbers and sent a steady stream of hookers to his hotel room on the road. Ultimately, like all seasons in Queens, it was a disappointing one when she didn't. She also promised threeways if that's what her husband wanted. My goodness, what a stand up gal.

Badminton Gets Sexy

The Badminton World Federation would be happy if all players dressed (and looked) like her, Danish born player Camilla Martin. he New York Times ran a piece this morning on a dress code being implemented on female badminton players by the BWF. The rule, which is being criticized roundly, would require female players to dress in shorts or skirts while playing in an attempt to create a more "attractive appearance". The criticism is pretty far-reaching and firmly based and is being, "criticized as sexist, a hindrance to performance and offensive to Muslim women who play the sport in large numbers in Asian countries". Well, yeah. The Times article has links to both the rule's press release and diagram of the short/skirt rules, or you could just follow ours.

One Time! An Ode To The Mad Dog, Chris Russo

As a young sports fan along the Jersey Shore, I am graced with both the New York City and Philadelphia media markets. The ability to watch Yankees, Mets and Phillies games all at once without having to sign my soul over to MLB.TV is a blessing. However, the ratio for Philly fans to some combination of New York sports fan has to be close to 30:1, if not 50:1. The constant yapping I’ve heard from the late 90’s Yankee dynasty to the Devils’ three (Fucking three? Really? Thank you, left wing lock.) to the Giants winning a Super Bowl on the biggest bullshit play ever is daunting. The natural course of action for someone who likes teams from a city that has won one championship since my birth would be to keep as far away from sports banter as humanly possible. But thanks to one man, it was not only easier to stand up to New York bias bullshit, it was fun. Thank you, Mad Dog Chris Russo.

As a teenager, Mike and the Mad Dog made my after school afternoons. So what if I refused to play sports or hangout with my girlfriend? I just wanted to listen to Mike and Dog argue the day’s topics. Mad Dog always knew how to tweak not only his partner, but every New York sports fan. From starting the show with “Meet the Mets” after each Mets’ loss down the stretch of their epic 2007 collapse to calling out the Yankee’s obscene payroll after every win versus the former Devil Rays, Mad Dog knew how to bring it.

And of course who could forget this, the rant that made every small market, bad luck baseball fan stand up and applaud Mad Dog all the while asking their friends if trading family members for world championships is a cause for concern or not.

Now Mad Dog has brought his “style” to Sirius-XM radio. As an avid listener to his station I have to say I am torn with the results. On the one hand, I am disappointed that Mad Dog and Mike Francesa broke up their partnership. He was definitely the ying to his yang. Without having someone in studio to rip apart for six hours, Mad Dog is left to rely on terrible callers. However, the station is so desperate for callers that Dog often restrains himself from being overly combative in an effort to keep the person from never calling again. Also, being forced to talk about national sports topics, there isn't the chance to get in depth with particular stories or teams. (Or as I like to call it, Mike and Mike in the Morning Syndrome.) Despite these shortcomings I am happy that I still have the opportunity to listen to him on my commute home from the office every afternoon, whereas if he took a job on the radio in Nashville I would not.

Mad Dog may be a watered down version of what he once was, but Dog at 75% is still way better than most. He still makes me feel like a teenager again, sitting outside on a summer afternoon telling my friends how pathetic they are for not knowing who the Yankees’ starting right fielder is. And for that, I will be forever grateful.

Quote Of The Day

Tug McGraw, winner of two World Series rings but more importantly father of Tim McGraw, was a character to say the least.  That said, his response when asked if he preferred Astroturf or natural grass should not be all that shocking:

"I dunno.  I never smoked any Astroturf."

Eyeopener - The Heimlich And A Door Prize For Chicago

-Sweet Jesus, Chicago.  Did Russell Westbrook give you a pep talk in a late huddle and tell you how to close out games?  You were the second-to-last line of between LeBronalypse and you failed us.  You lost 83-80, blew a 12 point lead, and your superstar went MIA in the fourth quarter again?  Thanks for nothing.  Your consolation prize is at the door.  (It's a steaming pile of shit, like the one you laid last night.)

-Buster Posey, he of the vicious collision yesterday, will likely be out for the rest of the season.  Posey suffered a broken leg and ligament damage in his ankle that will require surgery.  While the play at the plate was a clean play, some have questioned the necessity of the play itself or if the rule should be changed.  We here at That Guy! belief the play was not only clean play but a part of baseball that should remain.  Just like takeout slides and throwing at batters, it is a physical part of the game that has its place and should remain.  And how did the Giants do without young Buster?   They lost 1-0 to the Fish.

-Did MLB institute the mercy rule we all encountered at least once in Little League?  The BoSox romped on the Tigers 14-1 in a run rain-shortened 8 inning affair.  Carl Crawford joined Yaz and the Splendid Splinter as the only Boston left fielder since 1940 to record four hits and in two triples in the same game.

-If any of the four major North American sports had the problems FIFA has, we as a continent would flip our shit.  Current FIFA president Sepp Blatter had a bribery investigation opened up against him yesterday after Mohamed bin Hammam accused Blatter knew of payments bin Hammam had given out; payments that FIFA is investigating as bribery.  The topper?  Bin Hammam and Blatter face of in an election next week for FIFA's presidency.

-Digital Roy Halladay is just as good as flesh and bones Roy Halladay.  Brian Kingrey, a 25 year old music teacher in Louisiana, was the first to pitch a perfect game in 2K11's perfect game challenge.  Halladay sat down 27 straight 'Stros to earn Kingrey a very large check for a million dollars.  He will now also get the chance to pitch against the real Astros and has approximately the same chance at pitching a perfect game against them.