-The young Oklahoma City Thunder lost James Harden last night when he picked up his sixth foul, OKC staked to a 15 point lead with five and a half minutes left in the contest. The Thunder then lost control of their bowels, shit themselves, coughed up the lead, and lost in overtime to 112-105 in one of the most staggering playoff collapses in recent memory. Dirk was so good he was “a joke”, according to Jeff Van Gundy as he repeatedly gushed about the big German. I would have been too, except I’m a Sonics/Thunder fan.
-Tim Thomas, net minder for the Boston Bruins, guaranteed a series victory over Tampa Bay. Last night he made good on that prediction, allowing only one goal as the Bruins came within one game of the ultimate achievement: hoisting the Prince of Wales Trophy. The 3-1 Boston win featured a Tim Thomas save that was mind-bogglingly impressive, one that reassures you that EA Sports hates your soul and will have you lose at any cost.
-Guess who WASN’T on my fantasy bench last night? Corey Hart! That’s right! The man just went all Giambi-like last night, drilling three bombs(hells?) and seven RBIs in an 11-3 Milwaukee win over the Nationals. There is only one acceptable way to celebrate this:
-The Mariners aren’t terrible! Their sixth straight win came after scoring two in the eighth and one in the ninth to tie the game before getting another in the top half of the ten to best the hapless Twins. The Twins are now 15-31 and just 4-12 at home. Yikes.
-Chase Utley came back for the offensively-challenged Phillies who promptly scored 10 runs, seven of them in the third inning as the Phils rolled to a 10-3 win over the visiting Cincinnati Reds. Todd Frazier did get a chance at the plate last night in his romp of a Major League debut, only to strikeout on four pitches. Welcome to the bigs, kid!
-A battle of the sharks in Class-A game went really long last night and featured player names that would put any video game name generator to shame. Hammerheads > Threshers.
-When your basketball coach leaves your Big 11 school to go to the Naval Academy, and David Robinson isn’t on the team, something is desperately wrong. Ed DeChellis left Penn State yesterday to go coach in Annapolis, leaving Penn State sans coach going into one of the most critical times of the year for college hoops. Maybe instead of paying the puppeteer and makeup artist to make it look like JoePa is still alive, they should have been diverting some of the money into the basketball program.
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