The Curious Case Of Jo-Jo Reyes

To put Jo-Jo Reyes’ winless streak into perspective, a certain utility player for the Phillies has 127 2/3IP less than Jo-Jo and one more victory. My reasoning for writing this article is not to waste a minute or so out of everyone’s life to tell you that Jo-Jo Reyes is bad, we all know that. The truth is though he, when placed in the context of history, is not THAT bad. Certainly not bad enough to hold one of the three longest losing streaks in baseball history for a starting pitcher.

The last pitcher to make 28 consecutive starts without recording a W was Matt Keough of Oakland A’s fame (with through compliments around liberally here at That Guy!). Matt Keough went 2-17 in 1979, his sophomore season in the big leagues, surely killing many fantasy teams that year. However, Keough was named to the All-Star Team in his rookie season for the 1978 Athletics, recording an ERA of 3.24 that belied his 8-15 won-loss record. He also went on to have a respectable career, even playing for the Yankees in the 1980’s, so you know he had to be good.

What Jo-Jo, and to a better extent Keough represent, is the fact that wins is the most overrated stat for a pitcher. Jo-Jo has a 4.70 ERA this year and in the AL East that’s really not that bad at all. He is notorious for giving up 1^st and 2^nd inning runs (see Meyers, Brett for similar examples) which can demoralize an offense when they haven’t even spit out their first batch of sunflower seeds to see themselves down 5-0 (See yesterday’s box score). He has also pitched some great games with Atlanta and Toronto during this losing streak In his May 20^th start against Houston he hurled 7 innings of shutout ball got zero run support.

We know that W’s are overrated thanks to Kings Felix’s Cy Young Trophy. Jo-Jo Reyes just shows us the same thing by being as far away from a Cy Young as a starter as humanly possible.

Tia Norfleet And NASCAR's Color Barrier

The Sporting News ran an article this week on budding NASCAR driver Tia Norfleet, former Cup driver Bobby Norfleet's daughter. What makes her different than most drivers is not that she's a woman but that she is also an African-American. As she works her way through the feeder systems of NASCAR, Tia is breaking down barriers every step of the way, helping to integrate a sport whose roots lie in the Jim Crow South.

It is important to NASCAR both financially, and much more significantly culturally, to be bring down the gender and race barriers. The social need is clear. NASCAR has long had a history checkered with racial and gender inequality and insensitivity. Some of that still remains as exemplified by Mauricia Grant's 2008, $225M lawsuit claiming discrimination and harassment. NASCAR continues however to push forward, seemingly whole-heartedly and genuinely, to integrate the sport. NASCAR's Drive for Diversity programs helps to fund and promote potential stars in the world of stock car who make up a minority in the world of racing, usually African-Americans and women.

The financial ramifications are tremendous as well. With the current recession still hampering the American pocketbook discretionary spending is down. NASCAR weekends can be an expensive endeavor: ticket prices can run into the hundreds of dollars for a seat, parking, hotel or lodging, food, fuel, and the potential for lost income from taking a couple of days off from work. Many tracks are reporting significant dips in attendance which hurts not just the tracks but sponsors and the communities surrounding the track, some of which exist solely due to the venue. By expanding into the African-American market NASCAR would be opening a potentially significantly large revenue stream that is sorely needed in NASCAR. With the sport moving into the mainstream and out of the backwoods there is no better time or opportunity.

Player Wives

Come on down, Adriana Lima!

Somehow a man whose eyes are so close together he's indistinguishable from a cyclops lands Adriana Lima. It's amazing. The man cannot keep a job in the NBA but somehow keeps this Brazilian beauty with him. I'm blown the fuck away. Well done, sir.

Quote Of The Day

I'm a man!  I'm 40!

Eyeopener - OKC Collects Their Door Prize, Phils/Reds Still Playing

-The Oklahoma City Thunder simply can't hold leads. In a sport where having more points than the other team is a necessity, that's a bad thing. The Dallas Mavericks are back in the NBA Finals after coming from behind and beating OKC 100-96 to take the Western Conference Finals 4-1. KD and Co. can pick up their parting gifts at the door.

-The the Boston Bruins will be headed to a game seven of the Eastern Conference Finals. Thankfully for them the Flyers aren't the opponent. Tampa Bay put a Lincoln on the board to the Boston's two Jeffersons to send the series back to Boston. Check out Days Of Y'Orr for completely biased coverage that does the series more justice than I can. (I'm still holding my Jorge De La Rosa candlelight vigil. Details to follow.)

-As the guys over at Deadspin asked, after the Phillies/Reds marathon last night, the big question is who falls asleep during today's 1:05 start game, Dusty or Charlie? The two teams played for just over six hours, which in baseball terms is 19 innings, or in Rich Dubee terms exactly 600 pitches, 220 of them by Roy Halladay. (Our stat guys are checking that one out.)

-Buster Posey was injured in the Giants 12 inning, 7-6 loss to the Marlins as the reigning Rookie of the Year catcher tried to block home plate. The collision was a clean one if not extremely vicious.

Both players, Posey and Florida's Scott Cousins, deserve praise for playing baseball all out. I'm sure somewhere Pete Rose has this play DVR'd and is furiously masturbating to it as he rewinds it over and over again.

-Mike Brown is officially the new head coach of the Los Angeles Lakers. Kobe had no comment but the California media sure did, blasting the hire already. No verification if it's true that Brown's office door will be titled with "Brian Shaw's Seat Warmer".

-The Wilpons have a sold a non-controlling stake in the New York Mets but not SNY for approximately 200 million dollars to Greenlight Capital's David Einhorn. It's been a busier week for the Wilpons with Jeffrey Toobin's The New Yorker bio on Fred Wilpon, which featured some interesting quotes from Wilpon on his team and players, followed by Wilpon's inevitable apology.

-Bob Huggins has a soulmate. West Virginia football's current offensive coordinator and head-coach-in-waiting Dana Holgorsen was removed from a West Virginia casino after becoming "uncooperative" with security. No truth to the rumor that Huggy Bear sent Dana a congratulatory/welcome to the club bottle of Ketel One.

That Guy! Goes To Facebook

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Pooping My Pants In Norfolk

This is definitely one of the more disgusting stories that will be posted here for That Guy!'s Embarrassing Story Wednesday.  As always, every bit of this is true, no matter how much you may not belief it is or how much we wish it wasn't.  Without anymore delay, I present to you this week's tale of woe.

A couple of summers ago, on the way back from a vacation with my then-girlfriend's family to the Outer Banks in North Carolina, her and I stopped in Norfolk, Virginia on our way back to Jersey.  I had been to Norfolk a couple of times before and each time I enjoyed myself.  This time would turn out to be different.  We left North Carolina early that morning, a Saturday in late August, and were in Norfolk by 8:30AM.  The entire city was quiet which was both fortunate and odd.  I parked my car in a local parking garage not too far from the USS Wisconsin, a battleship-turned-museum docked in Norfolk.  We proceeded to walk around the harbor area, looking at the boats, the Wisconsin, and the general beauty of the waterfront.  As we walked around the Wisconsin, I felt my stomach gurgle.  Nothing of concerned but definitely needed to find a bathroom before we grabbed breakfast.  Within minutes though the gurgle had turned into an incessant rumble and boiling feces that let me know quickly I needed to evacuate my stomach before it did on its own terms.  I told my girlfriend that I needed to get to a bathroom now and began to walk from the Wisconsin towards the buildings that make up downtown Norfolk.  I found on my phone there was a Starbucks within a mile of where we were and we made a beeline for it.  The first right, the second left.  That's all the stood between and me and safety/relief.  It wasn't long after we made the right turn that the horror of realizing I wasn't going to make it set in.  My steps became shorter and softer and as my girlfriend walked ahead of me I began to look for options.  It was zero hour.  I cannot tell you how lucky I was this was a Saturday morning and not a weekday for I surely would have been arrested.  Without a thought I dropped my boardshorts, stepped into a tiny alcove for the front door of an office building and quickly announced, "I'm not going to make it."  As my girlfriend turned around she saw three things: a man with his shorts and boxers around his knees; a massive, explosive stream of brown, runny shit; and a look on my face she would later describe as one of, "pure relief and shame".  It came in two massive explosions that painted the alcove and the sidewalk in shades reserved for 1970's carpeting.  I finished my deed, feeling like a million dollars, but a total mess.  I had no options to wipe with, nothing to clean myself with.  The only choice was to pull up my shorts and trek the remaining handful of blocks to the original goal of Starbucks.  We arrived, and then I spent the next 15 minutes trying to properly clean myself up and dispose of my boxers, all things I never imagined I would be doing on a family vacation.  As I emerged to my girlfriend staring at me with a look I can't quiet put my finger on, the only thing I could manage was, "My ass is clean, but my self-esteem isn't".

We then ate breakfast.

Player Wives

Come on down, Emily Kuchar!

Emily who?  Maybe we should of announced her with her official title.

Come on down, Miss Daytona Beach 2008!

No, still not ringing a bell?  We'll try one more time.

Come on down, Mrs. Zach Greinke!

There we go.  Much better.  Once again our athlete rider has her own website and a body that we'd fight a caged tiger while wearing a suit of steak to fuck.  Zach may live in Milwaukee and be slightly off kilter but if those two things added up to her, you could sign us up for weekly therapy and a fitting for a Cheesehead.

Barry Bonds Does Something Genuinely Nice

Barry Bonds, former baseball player who did somethings of importance*, did something truly nice.  After visiting with beaten Giants fan Bryan Stow while in the hospital and leaving an autographed bat for his children, Bonds donated money to the Stow family to pay for the childrens' education.  Good on Barry.

Quote Of The Day

Carl Everett, former MLB player and current assaulter, had this gem of a quote regarding our friends the dinosaurs.   
"God created the sun, the stars, the heavens and the earth, and then made Adam and Eve. The Bible never says anything about dinosaurs. You can't say there were dinosaurs when you never saw them. Someone actually saw Adam and Eve. No one ever saw a Tyrannosaurus Rex."

Eyeopener - Work Is Dicking Us Over, San Jose Gets Its Consolation Prize

Work is being a whore with a sloppy vag today so the Eyeopener is going to be not as extensive as usual and the Wednesday Embarrassing Story will be up around 3 today.  The good news?  It's a story of the highest quality?  The bad news?  We may not have as much up today but dammit, we'll try.  On with the show!

-Fucking LeBron.  El Heat took control of the series last night with a 101-93 win in overtime.  Chicago, much like OKC the night before, had a chance to win the game on the final possession.  And, also very much like OKC, got a look one could only describe as "shitactular".  You have to love when a team of multi-millionaires can't execute a basic last shot play.

-Sharks, come get your parting gift!  The Vancouver Canucks moved onto the Stanley Cup Finals for the first time since 1994 with a double overtime 3-2 win.  Vancouver tied the game with 13.2 seconds left with an extra attacker then won it two periods later when defenseman Kevin Bieksa got what described as, "probably the ugliest goal of my career, but the biggest," to light the lamp.  San Jose is turning into the Cubs of hockey: perpetual disappointment.

-Is everyone on the juice again?  Carlos Quentin launched three homers, the fifth player to do so this year, as the ChiSox beat the Rangers and large hail, 8-6.  (The "large hail" link has video of the hail.)

-Coors Field turned into a legitimate house of pain yesterday.  First, Rockies almost-ace Jorge De La Rosa suffered a complete tear of his ulnar collateral ligament in the first game of a doubleheader which the Rox and DBacks split.  The injury will require a Tommy John-style surgery which will sideline DLR for a year.  Even more tragically, in the seventh inning of the same game, a 27 year old fan fell 20 feet off a stairwell leading to the centerfield seats.  The fan is currently in critical condition.  Both need to get well soon.

-Mike Brown was offered the keys to the Lakermobile in the wake of Phil Jackson's departure.  The question is, without LeBron James to co-pilot it, will he crash it into the tar pits?

A Little Midweek Stimulation

Rise and shine, motherfuckers.

It's Wednesday so it's time for us over here at That Guy! to give you a pick me up.  Hump Day sucks not just because we're so far from a weekend but because there is so little humping involved.  What doesn't suck?  This song.  Lessssgoooo!

This Is Why We Love Arkansas

This is glorious, and also our second Star Wars reference of the day on the blog.  We got beat up a lot as kids.  This intergalactic food station can be found in Fayetteville, Arkansas preparing "gourmet grilled cheese sandwiches/homemade soups".  What does gourmet in Arkansas consist of, Velveeta?

NY Times Uses Pretty Graphics To Explain Soccer, Messi

The New York Times has a great multimedia presentation showing graphics and videos of each of Messi's Champions League goals.  Granted I know little of this sport they call soccer (or FOOTball) but I can appreciate someone being as masterful at their craft as Messi is, screaming Spaniards and all.

We Live In A Weird World (And With People Who Like To Give The Bird)

Yahoo! ran an article a couple of days ago about the website 9-Eyes, a site run by Jon Rafman who sifts through Google Maps with Street View to find the best of the best oddball stuff.  There is some fantastic finds over there, enough to kill a couple hours.  Above is one of our favorites, and if the street name is in fact Russian, I'm glad to see our stereotypes weren't all that misplaced.

Quote Of The Day

Dennis Green may or may not be the worst manager of game time ever.  He also may be the star of an all-time great recorded meltdown.  He is who we thought he was!

Player Wives

Come on down, Ashley Eckstein!

Damn Dave, you're the god damn American hero, aren't you?  "Underdog baseball player makes majors and gets a dime piece of a wife", is more or less how many of us would want to sum up our lives.  But she's not just basking in the Ecks-Factor limelight.  She has her own damn website too: www.ashleyeckstein.com

Eyeopener - The Last German This Cold-Blooded...

 

-The young Oklahoma City Thunder lost James Harden last night when he picked up his sixth foul, OKC staked to a 15 point lead with five and a half minutes left in the contest.  The Thunder then lost control of their bowels, shit themselves, coughed up the lead, and lost in overtime to 112-105 in one of the most staggering playoff collapses in recent memory.  Dirk was so good he was “a joke”, according to Jeff Van Gundy as he repeatedly gushed about the big German.  I would have been too, except I’m a Sonics/Thunder fan.

-Tim Thomas, net minder for the Boston Bruins, guaranteed a series victory over Tampa Bay.  Last night he made good on that prediction, allowing only one goal as the Bruins came within one game of the ultimate achievement: hoisting the Prince of Wales Trophy.  The 3-1 Boston win featured a Tim Thomas save that was mind-bogglingly impressive, one that reassures you that EA Sports hates your soul and will have you lose at any cost.

-Guess who WASN’T on my fantasy bench last night?  Corey Hart!  That’s right!  The man just went all Giambi-like last night, drilling three bombs(hells?) and seven RBIs in an 11-3 Milwaukee win over the Nationals.  There is only one acceptable way to celebrate this:

 

-The Mariners aren’t terrible!  Their sixth straight win came after scoring two in the eighth and one in the ninth to tie the game before getting another in the top half of the ten to best the hapless Twins.  The Twins are now 15-31 and just 4-12 at home.  Yikes.

-Chase Utley came back for the offensively-challenged Phillies who promptly scored 10 runs, seven of them in the third inning as the Phils rolled to a 10-3 win over the visiting Cincinnati Reds.  Todd Frazier did get a chance at the plate last night in his romp of a Major League debut, only to strikeout on four pitches.  Welcome to the bigs, kid!

-A battle of the sharks in Class-A game went really long last night and featured player names that would put any video game name generator to shame.  Hammerheads > Threshers.

-When your basketball coach leaves your Big 11 school to go to the Naval Academy, and David Robinson isn’t on the team, something is desperately wrong.  Ed DeChellis left Penn State yesterday to go coach in Annapolis, leaving Penn State sans coach going into one of the most critical times of the year for college hoops.  Maybe instead of paying the puppeteer and makeup artist to make it look like JoePa is still alive, they should have been diverting some of the money into the basketball program.

I Think I Like Fred Wilpon

The New York media, always known for their level-headed and fair reporting, will have a field day with only a handful of the quotes in Jeffrey Toobin's feature on Fred Wilpon.  Specifically, the quotes where Wilpon criticizes some of his players.

On Jose Reyes:
“He thinks he’s going to get Carl Crawford money. He’s had everything wrong with him. He won’t get it.”

On David Wright:
“A really good kid. A very good player. Not a superstar.”

On Carlos Beltran, and himself:
"We had some dummy in New York, Wilpon says, referring to himself, 'who paid him based on that one series. He’s 65 to 70 percent of what he was.'"

But what is most powerful about the piece is that Wilpon comes off as extremely likable, a guy who cares a lot about his team and its success.  Someone who is pained with the teams struggles, and his own.  The piece is magnificent and well-worth the time to read it.

Todd Frazier Makes The Show

Todd Frazier, former Little League hero, Rutgers superstar, and someone who holds many connections to this blog's writers, got the call today.  The Cincinnati Reds Blog broke the story, citing CAA's Twitter feed, the sports agency that represents Frazier.  We wish him the best tonight as he makes his MLB debut against the Philadelphia Phillies tonight.  He is clearly the most important roster addition to either squad tonight.